Bubba Walker
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Bubba Walker is the seven-foot diapered cyclops baby-doll guardian of the kitchen door at Uncle Nibblecheek’s Candy Cottage. Made of wood (a fact Terry noticed mid-fight, [4], he wields a menacing lollipop and speaks in the voice of a small child. He is also one of the few NPCs the DM repeatedly invited the party to bypass non-violently — a willing participant in a candy-bribe arrangement. After his HP was brought to bloodied state in session 13, Vasquez persuaded him to accept a three-piece-candy bribe in exchange for passage. He retreated to his room with the candy and was preoccupied for the rest of the cottage arc, missing the s14 confrontation with Uncle Nibblecheek entirely.
Overview
Bubba Walker is the seven-foot diapered cyclops baby-doll who watches the kitchen door at Uncle Nibblecheek’s Candy Cottage. Made of wood. Carries a menacing lollipop. Speaks in a register somewhere between a small child and a deputised security guard:
“So we kitchen’s closed.” — Bubba Walker, on the party’s arrival, [1]
“Just don’t step on the trap tiles, dummy.” — to the party in gingerbread form, [2]
He survived session 13 because Vasquez eventually offered him three different kinds of candy in exchange for passage, and he accepted on the principle that he likes candy. He survived session 14 because he was preoccupied eating it.
Appearance and demeanour
Seven feet tall. Single cyclopean eye. Wood under the diaper-and-baby-doll exterior. Menacing lollipop as weapon. Voice and manner of a child. The Bubblegum Halfling described him in s13 as “kind of my brother, a little bit” — a phrasing the party noted but did not press.
His role in the cottage household is gatekeeper. The kitchen — where Uncle Nibblecheek works and Briochebane sleeps — is his post.
History / role in the campaign
Session 13 — combat and bargain
The party entered Bubba’s antechamber in the peppermint-tiled flour-dusted hallway. He greeted them with “kitchen’s closed”. When Ruin stepped backwards onto a pressure plate, a magical rolling pin descended and transformed Terry, Hugo, and Ruin into gingerbread on a failed Dex save. Bubba responded helpfully:
“Just don’t step on the trap tiles, dummy.” — [2]
“Do you have candy? Can I eat sim?” — [7]
Caelumn summoned the owlbear soul from the Soulbinder’s Packed Ring and attacked. The DM noted, twice, that a non-combative solution existed [3], L659). Combat ran ~6 rounds; Bubba was extremely durable, the owlbear was torn apart in three rounds, and the party’s damage output ran low.
Vasquez eventually attempted persuasion (advantage from the in-house red-HP-triggers-advantage rule):
“Look, we don’t want to have to finish this. Just move aside.” — Vasquez, [8]
“If you bring me at least three kinds of candy, then you can get into the kitchen.” — Bubba, accepting, [5]
The party fed Bubba a candied apple (after a brief secondary fight with three orchard tree-spirits, [9], saltwater taffy from the bucket-room, and a third candy. He retreated to his room to enjoy them.
Session 14 — preoccupied
Bubba did not engage in the Uncle Nibblecheek confrontation. The DM’s narration: “Bubba Walker is busy chowing down on candy” [6]. The party gave him an orchard apple on the way past for good measure. The bargain held.
Relationships
- Uncle Nibblecheek — household head, his employer (“Uncle Nibblechick gave me candy and I like that”, [10].
- Bubblegum Halfling — described as a brother by the halfling.
- The party — paid him in candy.
Notable quotes
“So we kitchen’s closed.” — [1]
“Bubba Walker watched the door, Uncle Nibblechick gave me candy and I like that.” — [10]
Disposition toward the party
Bargained-with. Not hostile when the candy is forthcoming.
Status as of session 16
Alive, presumed still at the cottage. Status as of the Aurelian occupation of Eldwythe (which has not yet reached the cottage on-screen) is unknown.
See also
References
- ^ Session 13, line 102 — Introduction; "kitchen's closed".
- ^ Session 13, line 165 — Helpfully advises 'Just don't step on the trap tiles, dummy.'.
- ^ Session 13, line 327 — DM notes a non-combative solution exists.
- ^ Session 13, line 640 — Vasquez chops wood off Bubba's femur; 'made of wood'.
- ^ Session 13, line 901 — 'If you bring me at least three kinds of candy, then you can get into the kitchen.'.
- ^ Session 14, line 1056 — 'Bubba Walker is busy chowing down on candy'.
- ^ Session 13, line 170-172 — Inline citation.
- ^ Session 13, line 896 — Inline citation.
- ^ Session 13, line 976-1149 — Inline citation.
- ^ Session 13, line 180 — Inline citation.